a letter to the mom and writer struggling with comparison
Hey sweet friend,
I read once here on Substack (I forgot who wrote it, but maybe you have seen it too) that you should “write for the version of yourself who needs to hear what you have to say”.
So that is what I am doing with this impromptu letter :).
In 2025, I spent the majority of my creative time and bandwidth learning the ins and outs of social media marketing and personal branding on short-form platforms like TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook to keep my marketing skills sharp as a former marketing manager turned stay-at-home mom.
I was writing at the time, but it wasn’t my focus nor my joy the way it is now.
2026 has been the year of the writer for me, and I love it!
But I wasn’t prepared for one thing: how vulnerable writing made me feel.
I have had many a blog before, but Substack is wonderfully different. Having a blog is a bit of an isolating experience unless you have a huge audience reading it. My friends and family would read some of my things, but it was nothing like Substack, where there is a built -in community of creatives and higher discoverability.
There is so much joy in finding others who share not only interests and values but also a love for writing and creativity in the same way as yourself. I have seen many people share the sentiment that they don’t have other writer friends in real life to talk about the highs and lows of writing online. What a gift Substack is in that sense!
However, like any other app, the downside to being able to create alongside others is that you can not only see other people’s work, but you can also see how many other people are seeing their work. Liking their work. Subscribing to their work. Sharing their work.
And sometimes that nasty voice of comparison and envy can creep in and say, “Look at your own work. You write about similar things, but look at how many people aren’t sharing/subscribing/liking yours. You’re not as good. You’re not as liked. Your message isn’t as important. You should just quit.”
I have dealt with social media creator envy before…
But it was so much harder when it hit me after sharing a piece of writing that I spent hours crafting and pouring personal details into versus a 10-second video I made on a short-form platform.
I think a large part of why comparison on here can feel so heartwrenching is because many of the writers and creatives I know personally and virtually are introverts, neurodivergent, or simply better at communicating via the written versus the spoken word.
So for many of us, our writing is not just an offering of exposition but of essence. OUR essence.
If our writing is being rejected or passed over, it can feel like some of the deepest parts of our soul are being rejected and passed over.
So how do we move forward?
This is my encouragement to you, sweet friend, as this is something I have way too recently walked through.
Remember who (and whose) you are
To quote Mufasa, “Remember who you are.” You are a daughter of God and beloved by Jesus. Before you are a wife, mom, or writer, your identity and purpose start and end with that. The other stuff is just the beautiful gifts in between.
Have grace with yourself
I once saw a quote that said, “Art needs eyes.” It is completely natural to have the desire to create something beautiful and want to share it with others. God created this beautiful universe, and He created us to enjoy its beauty (and most importantly, to enjoy His beauty). Sometimes it can feel frustrating to wonder why it is so important to us to feel seen. Have grace with yourself. Read your work out loud in prayer as a proud child would share with a doting parent.
Lead with praise
When the creepy crawly feelings of comparison start to take over, fight it with praise. Praise God for the gift and message He has laid on your heart. And then (this is the big one!), praise the person you are feeling envious or jealous of. Praise their work. Message them about what you admire in their writing. It’s hard to stay mad or envious of someone you are hyping up!
Shining light on others won’t dim your light because we are
simply a reflection of the light of Jesus, and it is a light that will never dim.
You are not alone, sweet friend.
Much love,
*If you’ve been encouraged by this and want to support my writing, I have set up a “buy me a coffee” link to make a one-time donation. This honors the time and resources that go into me creating gentle, faith-filled content. While it is greatly appreciated, it is not expected. I am deeply thankful to simply have your presence here!
You can also support me by checking out my growing digital resource library. This resource includes lifetime access as new tools and reflections are added over time. It’s designed to be a one-stop companion to the ideas I share here—something you can revisit whenever life feels heavy or overwhelming.