Rebuilding A Soft Life After Mom Burnout Part 1: The Soft Wellness Method

The Soft Wellness Method: Your Starting Point to Rebuilding After Burnout

Photo by Gaelle Marcel on Unsplash

2018–2023 is the time of my life that I not-so-affectionately call my burnout era. I was 24 in 2018, working at a start-up in marketing, and got engaged—and life quickly went downhill after that.

I’m sure that last part of the sentence wasn’t quite what you were expecting to read since the first half sounded more like the beginning of a 2000s romcom and not the starting point of a hard season that ended up lasting five years—but I digress.

I started having panic attacks while wedding planning and trying to manage my workload, and my anxiety began to skyrocket (I later found out it was due to unmanaged ADHD). My husband and I did individual and premarital counseling that unearthed some very hard things I had to deal with. I left my job right after I came back from my honeymoon in fall of 2018, lost my grandmother to cancer in December of 2018, was diagnosed with PCOS and generalized anxiety disorder in spring of 2019, spent nine months looking for a full-time job, and finally got one in summer of 2019—only to find out I had gotten pregnant while having an IUD just two weeks into said job. With no time to process the shock of finding out I was pregnant while having an IUD, I found out it was ectopic (in my fallopian tube) and not only was it not viable, it was potentially fatal unless I took methotrexate shots to help my body pass the pregnancy. It was both physically and emotionally traumatizing, and I still had a new job to settle into. Three months later I got pregnant with my oldest in October of 2019, where I threw up and was so sick for the entirety of my pregnancy. Oh yeah—and then the world shut down in March of 2020, and I gave birth in July of 2020, so that really helped my anxiety disorder (side note: it most definitely did not help).

After parenting in isolation for a year, I tried to piece myself back together in my new life as a wife and mom while dealing with the horrific PCOS flare-up that breastfeeding brought on (uncontrollable weight gain, fatigue, mood swings—you know, the fun stuff). Finally in 2023, I was diagnosed with ADHD after I realized my mental health was at the same level as my then two-year-old’s when it came to our ability (or lack thereof) to handle overstimulation, emotional regulation, and focus.

So yeah, it’s been a ride.

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When I was in the middle of this burnout, I didn’t need another to-do list; I needed a starting point. That’s how the Soft Wellness Method was born.

Burnout makes even the smallest things feel heavy. The Soft Wellness Method isn’t about adding more to your plate. It’s about taking small, gentle steps that make room for healing. This method helped give me a foundation to begin again, without the pressure of perfection, and I am hoping it can do the same for you.

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Step 1: Slow Down

The first step is permission. Permission to pause. To breathe. To notice what’s really draining you.

The first three years of my burnout, I was going through one life change after another—traumatic in and of itself, even if they were good changes like getting married or having a baby, because I wasn’t given enough time to process them. Even when life slowed down, though, my mind and body were trying to play catch-up while also learning how to manage my out-of-control PCOS and ADHD symptoms.

Slowing down is all about creating margin and creating the space you need to see clearly what’s working and what’s not. This could look like doing the bare minimum for your schedule, or purposefully not trying to multitask or habit-stack everything for the sake of efficiency. I had to let go of a lot of what I wanted to do because physically and mentally I just couldn’t—but it created the margins I needed to heal.

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Step 2: Simplify

Next comes releasing. Let go of what you can. Automate or delegate where possible. Hire out help if you have the budget, give yourself grace about things like laundry or dishes, use paper plates or plastic utensils for a season, and don’t be afraid to ask for or receive help. My pride had to take a back seat in this season. Give yourself permission not to give 100% to every single thing.

Simplifying is not about neglecting your responsibilities—it’s about preserving energy for what matters most. When you simplify, you free up capacity to nurture the areas of your life that truly need it.

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Step 3: Sustain

The last step is to rebuild gently with only the practices you can realistically maintain. Sustainability is about choosing what lasts in this season, not what looks impressive.

Focus on what nourishes you physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Even the smallest rhythms—like a five-minute walk, a prayer before bed, or a simplified dinner routine—become sustainable building blocks for healing.

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Why This Matters

If you’ve been carrying the weight of burnout, I want you to know: you don’t have to reinvent your life overnight. Rebuilding softly means taking one step at a time. I rededicated my life to following Jesus in 2016, and this all happened in 2018. My journey through burnout and rebuilding is a huge part of my testimony because, over and over again, I met the limitations of my physical, mental, and spiritual strength—and when I couldn’t go any further, God gave me what I needed to keep moving. I am stronger now in my faith while growing softer in my life.

These three steps—Slow Down, Simplify, Sustain—are your foundation. From here, you can begin layering in deeper rhythms that make life not just manageable, but meaningful.

If you’re ready to take this further, I’ve created a free guide called The Soft 7 Rhythms, designed to help you build small, sustainable practices into your everyday life. You can download it and The Soft Wellness Guide in my Linktree.

You are not alone in this, sweet friend.

Much love,
Sarah

If you’ve been encouraged by this post and want to support my writing, you can “buy me a coffee” to help me keep creating gentle, faith-filled content: buymeacoffee.com/bysarahsmith