How to Get Off Your Phone as a Mom: 3 Simple Tips for Digital Friction This Week

Motherhood, Unplugged: Volume 1

We all know that classic January 1st feeling. The “New Year, New Me” rush where we vow to completely overhaul our diets, our fitness, or our lifestyles. Especially as moms, we come from such a good-intentioned place - we want to be the absolute best version of ourselves so we can give our best to our children.

But we also know how frustrating it is when those massive changes don’t stick. You start making a few positive tweaks, and right on cue, a curveball hits. The kids get sick, someone loses a job, or the unexpected chaos of life completely derails your momentum.

Here is the truth we often ignore: whether you are trying to change your physical health or your screen time, it is never as simple as just “eating less and moving more” or “just putting the phone down.”

To create lasting change, you have to get down to the psychological and spiritual roots. You have to look at why we depend on certain habits for comfort or escape in the first place.

And right now, trying to manage your screen time in a world where everything is an app feels incredibly defeating. You log on only to see guilt-tripping videos reminding you of “how little time you have left with your kids,” which just breeds shame. Then, the internet tells you that to stop using one app, you need to download and pay for another app.

I’ve been there. When I first started trying to get a handle on my screen time while still trying to show up online as a writer, I felt so overwhelmed. I found myself spending hours online researching how to use a basic flip phone and trying to learn from other people’s digital detox journeys. The irony wasn’t lost on me: I was spending massive amounts of time online just trying to learn how to be offline.

I have a lot of deep-dive articles in the pipeline tackling the heavy psychological and spiritual roots of app addiction and digital boundaries. But while I work on those deeper pieces, I want to protect you from that exact online overwhelm.

Welcome to Motherhood Unplugged: a simple, weekly newsletter you can read or listen to in a few minutes or less.

The premise is straightforward: Technology was meant for us to use, and not to be used by.

We aren’t just about restricting one thing without romanticizing another. If you are going to put down your phone, you shouldn’t be left staring at a boring room or a mountain of chores. We want to minimize our digital usage while maximizing our real-life delight. We want to add friction to our digital lives, cultivate frivolity in our offline lives, and seek wisdom from God in every step.

With that, let’s get started with three small shifts you can try this week.

1. Add One Layer of Friction

Our phones are designed to be entirely frictionless. To break the cycle, you have to intentionally build speed bumps into your digital routine.

Pick just one layer of friction to implement today:

Use a hardware blocker: Tools like the Brick can physically lock you out of specific apps until you tap a physical device left in another room.

The App Purge: Delete your primary scrolling apps for a few days, forcing yourself to only check them on a laptop.

Deactivate for a week: Give yourself permission to go completely dark on social media from Monday to Friday.

When scrolling requires actual effort, your brain has time to pause and ask: “Do I actually want to look at this, or am I just bored?”

2. Schedule Your Scroll Time

In may sound counterintuitive, but often carry around an exhausting “all-or-nothing” pressure when it comes to…well everything. We think we have to be perfectly offline mothers who never look at a screen and never have our children look at a screen which only breeds guilt.

Let’s release the pressure of perfection this week. Instead of going full-send on not scrolling, simply schedule it for during a time where you don’t have to be “on” with other things. Maybe 15 minutes right after bed time or while walking on the treadmill. Knowing that a small, dedicated time block is waiting for you later completely changes your relationship with your phone during the day. It allows you to put the device down without the fear of missing out, freeing up your mental bandwidth to be fully present in the current season.

3. Focus On One Tactile, Offline Hobby

Now for the best part: filling the void with a little offline frivolity.

Digital friction without analog frivolity leads to habit fracture.

Find one offline hobby to focus on intentionally this week. It is even better if it involves a tactile, hands-on experience that makes it physically impossible to hold a phone at the same time:

Pick up a pair of knitting needles and make a few stitches if the kids are playing together nicely for once

Keep coloring on hand to do with your kids if you need to find something to do with them but also need a mental break

Open a book and pair it with your favorite drink for a deeper sensory experience

When your hands are busy creating, resting, or working with tangible things, the urge to check notifications may not subside but hopefully it can he a little quieter.

The Unplugged Challenge This Week

Don’t try to overhaul your entire life by tomorrow morning. Seek wisdom for just this week, picking one boundary and one offline joy from the list above.

Drop a comment below: Which layer of friction are you adding to your phone this week, and what tactile hobby are you choosing to look forward to instead?

See you next week, unplugged.

Love,

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Your presence here is the greatest gift, and I am so deeply grateful to learn alongside you!